Milkboys, Inside the Carton

Ya know, I could move to Texas and be with my sister… I could be closeted and be one of those beautiful popular people, I know how to manipulate people in all the right ways, perhaps that’s how I made a large number of homophobes homo-tolerant / friendly? I could play sports with people… I could get invited to every party and do whatever any normal rich beautiful heterosexual / closeted person can do. But… I want to stay here more then I want to leave, everything I stand for would be lost by going back in the closet and abandoning everything I’ve made in Washington. I’ve lived the way I want others to be able to comfortably live in the future, I”ve stayed out of the closet for 3 years now, I’ve made some extremely homophobic people become close friends of mine (Even though I don’t consider them friends in the least now), and there’s still a future for me here I suppose.

For now… I need to decide, will I attempt to become friends with Tyler and them again, I haven’t played basketball in over a year now because of losing touch with them… should I practice now? Am I comfortable with this? I suppose I’ll go outside and do some practice shots shirtless (tan + practice at once!). And tomorrow I’m going to get back on track with my social life and go to marysville and see if there’s anyone there to chill with. I suppose I should be proud of myself for still holding hope… I wouldn’t be surprised if another person with a past similar to mine would of just killed themself rather then continue on through this gauntlet of life.